TREES AND SEAS
Every individual item purchased (not just every order) means a tree gets planted, and a pound of plastic is removed from the oceans.
FULFILLMENT UPDATE
Hey everyone—just a heads-up: most orders are taking up to 12 weeks to fulfill right now. Between legal costs stacking up, bills that never take a day off, and the fact that my first priority is taking care of my kid, I’m doing my best to keep everything moving.
I can’t apologize enough for the delays, and I can’t properly express how much I appreciate your patience and support. If you’re considering placing an order, please feel free—I’ll keep fulfilling them right up until I get thrown in jail (hopefully not anytime soon).
I don’t always know exactly when each order will ship, but everything is in process and slowly working its way out the door. Thank you for understanding how hard it is to catch back up when you’re buried. Your support genuinely makes a difference.
For My Momma's Sake
I, personally, would much rather you fine comrades of mine just purchase something in order to donate to my cause. However, if all you got is a fiver, and you want to help me give Elon Musk the finger, I definitely need the help keeping up with the legal fees. If this is more your speed, please donate via This Link
Criminally Good
Hey!
Recently, I (allegedly) spit in Elon Musk's face on Twitter. He got soooooo scared of me all the way in Bumf*ckistan, IN that the Indiana State Police skipped every step of a proper investigation, and instead, threw me in county jail without bringing any charges against me, and without bond. After five days, my family managed to get me out, thanks to support from all of you guys and thousands more.
Let it be known that Red Pawn scared the richest man on the planet. What a giant p*ssy.
These items are priced much differently. That is because their entire profits will be used to cover legal fees and make up for the fact that Batteries Plus in Indiana is comprised of a bunch of sniveling, corporate dweebs and they fired me when I didn't show up to work on time after getting out of jail twelve minutes before my shift was supposed to start. They can s*ck me from the back. I am looking for a replacement job, but until that is secured, you guys are the only thing keeping my family fed- and I love you.
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Unisex Short-Sleeve Top: Most Dangerous Man Alive
Regular price From $25.00Regular priceUnit price / per -
Rebel Patches: American Oligarch
Regular price $20.00Regular priceUnit price / per -
Identity Patches: Red Pawn Dynamics
Regular price $20.00Regular priceUnit price / per -
Identity Patches: Muskrat Hunting Party
Regular price $20.00Regular priceUnit price / per
Your purchase removes 1 lb of plastic waste from the environment.
World War Three Loot
The end may be near. Tensions are rising. Things are heating up. Do you really want to be dropping Common tier loot when you succumb to the enemy at the gates? Hell no! You want to go out in style! Maybe you want the guy who loots your body to laugh, or perhaps feel the irresistible urge to mag dump you. I've got the whole spectrum here!
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Unisex Short-Sleeve Top: The Ranger
Regular price From $20.00Regular priceUnit price / per -
Unisex Short-Sleeve Top: The Bard
Regular price From $20.00Regular priceUnit price / per -
Unisex Short-Sleeve Top: The Wizard
Regular price From $20.00Regular priceUnit price / per -
Unisex Short-Sleeve Top: The Fighter
Regular price From $20.00Regular priceUnit price / per -
Unisex Short-Sleeve Top: What Is It Good For?
Regular price From $15.00Regular priceUnit price / per -
Creative Stickers: Depends On Your Definition of Defense
Regular price $6.00Regular priceUnit price / per
Cherry™ Cases: Neanderthal™ Series
Featuring a two-piece construction designed to guarantee the safety of your digital lifeline. It could survive the Stone Age, so today shouldn't be a problem!
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Cherry™ Samsung Case: Neanderthal™ IED
Regular price $25.00Regular priceUnit price / per -
Cherry™ iPhone Case: Neanderthal™ IED
Regular price $25.00Regular priceUnit price / per -
Cherry™ iPhone Case: Neanderthal™- Bubblegum Pink
Regular price $25.00Regular priceUnit price / per -
Cherry™ Samsung Case: Neanderthal™- Acab Blue
Regular price $25.00Regular priceUnit price / per


Look at what we got!



CARE Packages!
Personalized gift boxes for your friends, love interests, or family!
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CARE Package: Curated Assortment of Random Essentials
Regular price From $25.00Regular priceUnit price / per$35.00Sale price From $25.00Sale

CUSTOM CROCHET AVAILABLE!
My mom is cranking out bags, stuffed animals, hats, and more! Message me via chat or email to get the ball rolling!

CROCHET POUCHES/BAGS
The MOLLE pouch is mostly a joke, but it's on my kit as sentimental loot for whoever claims my dogtags when WW3 hits. Beyond that, my momma makes excellent pouches and bags, complete with buttons, straps, ties, handles, greens, beans, tomatoes, etc.
Get Stucked
Slap them on whatever you want!
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Creative Stickers: ATF
Regular price $3.20Regular priceUnit price / per -
Creative Stickers: This Machine
Regular price $5.00Regular priceUnit price / per -
Creative Stickers: :3
5.0 / 5.0
(1) 1 total reviews
Regular price $4.20Regular priceUnit price / per -
Creative Stickers: Cocked Glocks
Regular price $3.20Regular priceUnit price / per -
Creative Stickers: Blahaj Blast
5.0 / 5.0
(1) 1 total reviews
Regular price $5.00Regular priceUnit price / per
Let customers speak for us
from 181 reviewsNothing more, quality seems good

Worth every penny. Great product

I loved my batch of adorable gremlin patches

I love them :3 I will be definitely be buying from here more <3

Identity Patches: Certified CNC Operator

My item was shipped to the wrong address… I’m looking through reviews and see many other people claiming the same thing. Still haven’t received anything after 3 months of a $187 order.
sweet hoodie good material and comfortable

Love it. Worth every penny.

No loose threads, colors are right, size is right

This patch was perfect, great quality and very helpful customer service!

Patch was great quality, well made, clean lines. Minus problems with delivery services once product was shipped, arrived just in time to be sewn on day before Christmas. But very satisfied with product.

Love the patch, wish there was a Velcro option

Fantastic quality patch!!! Thank you!! Sen üchün, ey yurtimiz, bolsun pida bu janimiz.



Gun Stickers
I can turn your firearm (or airsoft gun) into a vinyl sticker for you to throw on your gear, your car, or laptop, or the back of your buddy's helmet.