Hey!

Recently, I (allegedly) spit in Elon Musk's face on Twitter. He got soooooo scared of me all the way in Bumf*ckistan, IN that the Indiana State Police skipped every step of a proper investigation, and instead, threw me in county jail without bringing any charges against me, and without bond. After five days, my family managed to get me out, thanks to support from all of you guys and thousands more.

Let it be known that Red Pawn scared the richest man on the planet. What a giant p*ssy.

These items are priced much differently. That is because their entire profits will be used to cover legal fees and make up for the fact that Batteries Plus in Indiana is comprised of a bunch of sniveling, corporate dweebs and they fired me when I didn't show up to work on time after getting out of jail twelve minutes before my shift was supposed to start. They can s*ck me from the back. I am looking for a replacement job, but until that is secured, you guys are the only thing keeping my family fed- and I love you.