A black apron featuring an embroidered design on the front. The words Irish Cooking accompany a blue car with a bomb strapped to it. The trouble with Ireland is that it has England as a neighbor. Twenty-six and six equals one you cockney cunts. If Northern Ireland is British, how come it's called Northern Ireland, and not West Britain? Curious, indeed. One day I want to piss on Margaret Thatcher's grave. But I'll have to do Reagan's first.

Thanks to this embroidered apron you don't have to worry about keeping your clothes clean when cooking- especially since it comes with something dirty already on it! The neck loop and long ties ensure one size will fit most people. The two front pockets are extra handy whenever you're feeling like playing a game of pocket pool or you need a place to stuff your secret sauce. With the quality embroidery on the front of it, you're sure to draw some attention at whatever cookout you unleash this hell upon.

• 70% polyester, 30% cotton
• Fabric weight: 9 oz/yd² (305 g/m²)
• Size: 20″ × 30″ (50.8 cm × 76.2 cm)
• Adjustable neck loop and long ties
• Two front pockets
• Blank product sourced from China, original design or corporate riff by Red Pawn