A square, cork-backed coaster featuring a wine glass and a donkey, along with the words Tables Are For Glasses, Not Asses. That was my mom's favorite thing to yell at my brothers and I whenever were using her furniture as a jungle-gym so we could pretend we were doing Ninja Warrior competitions.

We were never well-enough off to have to worry about the condition of our table surfaces, nor did we ever have the money to buy coasters. However, when I moved out, it was one of the first things I did. I found some funny ones that said "Don't Fuck Up The Table". My table was made by me, so I didn't want it messed up. Having a set of coasters for people to use just adds a more "home"-like feeling to wherever you are. It's a dumb layer of faux elegance, but it can make you feel better off, like a trick of the mind. If they have something cool or clever on them, they make for a great conversational piece when new people or even friends come over for the first time.

The coaster is waterproof and heat-resistant, thanks to the cork backing and hardboard surface. The design should hold up to all of the stains and condensation that the coaster is saving your table from.

• Hardboard MDF 0.12″ (3 mm)
• Cork 0.04″ (1 mm)
• High-gloss coating on top
• Size: 3.74″ × 3.74″ × 0.16″ (95 × 95 × 4 mm)
• Rounded corners
• Water-repellent, heat-resistant, and non-slip
• Easy to clean

The displayed price is for a single item.