A hooded sweatshirt featuring a vampire-esque mouth with blood dripping from the bottom lip. Completely up to interpretation, but I think after like two hundred years of sucking blood, vampires probably give the best top. I will not apologize or elaborate. I also don't think they'd mind going down on a gal during her monthly, so they're sounding pretty ideal.

Tired of your partner stealing your hoodie? Want something to wear that will make a statement, but also keep you all warm and snuggly? Let me introduce you to the baddest bitch in the hoodie game: this motherfucker right here. The cotton-polyester combination helps combat moisture while also retaining it's fluffiness. It's like wrapping yourself up in a pillow made of clouds. A ghillie suit of the finest furs. Plus, it is absolutely covered in propaganda. Doesn't really get better than that.

• 50% pre-shrunk cotton, 50% polyester
• Fabric weight: 8.0 oz/yd² (271.25 g/m²)
• Air-jet spun yarn with a soft feel and reduced pilling
• Double-lined hood with matching drawcord
• Quarter-turned body to avoid crease down the middle
• 1 × 1 athletic rib-knit cuffs and waistband with spandex
• Front pouch pocket
• Double-needle stitched collar, shoulders, armholes, cuffs, and hem
• Blank product sourced from Bangladesh, Nicaragua, Honduras or El Salvador depending on availability. Original design or corporate riff by Red Pawn