Trickle Down economics doesn't work- but our champagne does! Our high-quality sparkling spirits are ported directly from the bladders of Wall Streets richest embezzlers. They consume high-dollar alcohol and illegal narcotics, filter it through their 100% organic and naturally-sourced purification system (conveniently stored within their own body) before urinating it directly into chilled bottles. Perfect for the lower class to consume and still feel elegant themselves! Couple it with Uranus-brand fudge for a real treat!

Made from 100% organic ring-spun cotton, this shirt is going to feel like you're wearing a snug cloud. It's a unisex fit, so no matter which direction your body type leans, you're sure to like the way you look in this puppy. Lacking in polyester, it's not as breathable as our other shirts- so you won't need to wear an undershirt during warmer weather. But some of you wear shorts in winter, so who know what you think is comfortable.

• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)
• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz/yd² (142 g/m²)
• Pre-shrunk fabric
• Side-seamed construction
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
• Blank product sourced from Guatemala, Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US depending on availability. Original design printed by Red Pawn